From where we last left off...
This whole thing is fucking me up. We're back, on the show, slap happy this fucking T.V. show. So, it's so fucking later almost September and this thing has gone on for far too long. Last time I wrote in this diary was directly before I create my Johnny diary/filmed Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. Throughout this time I came to create a character in this T.V. show (amongst several). Some were based off others art, such as 'Boy-Rei' and other such characters I've created. This is the kind of thing that links my theory that methods of acting are similar to spirituality methods which I found in similarity when I read/had Cathy Haase's book/case @ S.V.A.
Since the last time you've been with us, I've gone through an insane character, realized I was supposed to do alot more with the show, and attempted to base a revolution in Williamsburg based off my art/my friends/and the idea that this generation needs a generational voice because Kurt Vonnegut and now George Carlin have died. So I attempted to be this generational voice.
I've realized the show goes further on then I actually realize, that the effect on my body and mind can run deep. I also realize that on the outside I truly have no idea how it looks. I spent my thesis year trying to create a club called 'Skittles' and save Williamsburg as an arts district. On the outside of this show I have no idea if I'm taken seriously or as a joke. I assume that they know how the documentary works, that alot of Silver Tiles is dead on and that the fact that this show exists really scares the shit out of me. I don't know if I've been taken advantage of or made a hero, I'm told I'm a form of Kurt Cobain. I have no idea what the fuck it's like on the outside and I want the show to end. I'm incredibly bitter that I haven't been paid. I deserve the club, we deserve the arts district, I've lost my freedom of thought by having my thoughts raped and freedom of only child space through this show.
I'm continuing the plotline of what I've gone through in the creation of Silver Tiles, which expells into all of my art. This is my attempt to make something of the show, this is also my attempt to create something for Williamsburg/myself. I want the club I want all the shit from the show. The best thing to do is continue on this pathway.
At times it's harder than ever. At times I break down crying. I try to document these moments and I try to document the difference between the character and I.
I try to stress the fact that under these circumstances it's hard to say one can scientifically be themselves, because, well, normally I wouldn't have something like this going on. 24/7 T.V. show with all this shit to fuck with me.
My reality is out there. The show's mad fucked up.
I've realized I want to finish my Fairfield series for myself. I also feel it's impossible to finish this series while on this show. I didn't create it while on this show so how can I complete it while on this show? Not possible. Not in the way I want to.
So I'm going to complete the Silver Tiles portion of this. Through the movie I'm creating (Quadrophenia, Williamsburg) and through the Silver tiles blog. This connects into the Fairfield series but incidentally Kade and such was always connected. Certain items will take filming later. When I have money and a huger crew, after all of this was connected together.
Right now I'm going to use the show to my advantage, through acting, through Silver Tiles and everything -> I want the fucking club. I want the dream of Silver Tiles.
Fairfield + Williamsburg = 'Williamsburg Revolution'
Talk later.
Since the last time you've been with us, I've gone through an insane character, realized I was supposed to do alot more with the show, and attempted to base a revolution in Williamsburg based off my art/my friends/and the idea that this generation needs a generational voice because Kurt Vonnegut and now George Carlin have died. So I attempted to be this generational voice.
I've realized the show goes further on then I actually realize, that the effect on my body and mind can run deep. I also realize that on the outside I truly have no idea how it looks. I spent my thesis year trying to create a club called 'Skittles' and save Williamsburg as an arts district. On the outside of this show I have no idea if I'm taken seriously or as a joke. I assume that they know how the documentary works, that alot of Silver Tiles is dead on and that the fact that this show exists really scares the shit out of me. I don't know if I've been taken advantage of or made a hero, I'm told I'm a form of Kurt Cobain. I have no idea what the fuck it's like on the outside and I want the show to end. I'm incredibly bitter that I haven't been paid. I deserve the club, we deserve the arts district, I've lost my freedom of thought by having my thoughts raped and freedom of only child space through this show.
I'm continuing the plotline of what I've gone through in the creation of Silver Tiles, which expells into all of my art. This is my attempt to make something of the show, this is also my attempt to create something for Williamsburg/myself. I want the club I want all the shit from the show. The best thing to do is continue on this pathway.
At times it's harder than ever. At times I break down crying. I try to document these moments and I try to document the difference between the character and I.
I try to stress the fact that under these circumstances it's hard to say one can scientifically be themselves, because, well, normally I wouldn't have something like this going on. 24/7 T.V. show with all this shit to fuck with me.
My reality is out there. The show's mad fucked up.
I've realized I want to finish my Fairfield series for myself. I also feel it's impossible to finish this series while on this show. I didn't create it while on this show so how can I complete it while on this show? Not possible. Not in the way I want to.
So I'm going to complete the Silver Tiles portion of this. Through the movie I'm creating (Quadrophenia, Williamsburg) and through the Silver tiles blog. This connects into the Fairfield series but incidentally Kade and such was always connected. Certain items will take filming later. When I have money and a huger crew, after all of this was connected together.
Right now I'm going to use the show to my advantage, through acting, through Silver Tiles and everything -> I want the fucking club. I want the dream of Silver Tiles.
Fairfield + Williamsburg = 'Williamsburg Revolution'
Talk later.
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